This Is My Testimony To God's Glory

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 1corinthians 2:14

What I could have gained from this piece of information when I was lost, hurting and confused. I knew I wanted out of the hell I was living. I knew there had to be something more for me than what I saw. I knew I couldn’t stay where I was; but I didn’t know what or how. What could “i” do? I had heard God’s name; most if not all of it good, but I was not familiar with Him. I thought; I made the decision to go to church. Now, I know differently; God had me all along. But at the beginning of this journey, “i” was in control. I got my son and self dressed, in the car and off to church we went.



Oh my goodness, are you serious? It was loud, crazy and foreign to me. They were crying, screaming, clapping and jumping; but they appeared to be happy. The music was loud, my son covered his ears and I wanted to. When they prayed for people they put something on their foreheads and touched them. I was frozen, really trying to figure out what the “hell” was going on around me. I thought these people are crazy. It was all I could do not to snatch my son’s hand and RUN! Which is exactly what I did the first inconspicuous moment I got; with the thought of NEVER returning.



I didn’t understand. I made excuses why I didn’t believe. I went to work and laughed about it with other lost souls. It was ALL “foolish” to me. I did not think that dramatic display was necessary to have whatever it was I was looking for.



A Word went forth, I don’t remember it but I do remember feeling like the pastor was looking and speaking directly to me. It was like she’d been where I had been and seen what I had been through. It was uncomfortable and I felt exposed. Exposed is not a good feeling, but it is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.



A lot of times when we’ve been used, misused, betrayed, abused, hurt, broken, left for dead, etc.; all we see is that person we feel did it. Even if we are they betraying abuser ourselves; all we know is at the time, what we did met a purpose for us; right or wrong. We are blinded to the magnitude of our actions or lack thereof. All we see is the dark, empty, ugliness that surrounds us. We hear that whisper beckoning us to die as we welcome the thought. I knew well this place; it was home for many years.



Until one day, I walked into a church with my son. I watched and listened, but heard nothing. I was scared and intimidated and I ran. I refused to go back. You might ask;’ what do I mean by refused, who was trying to make me go back?’ I had to ask that same question. My mind was playing with me. I could not get that place or those people out of my head. Something was calling me back. For months I had a constant struggle. I for sure was going crazy. Why would I ever go back to that craziness? The real question was; how could I remain in the circus of lies I was already in? I wasn’t going without a fight and I sure nuff gave it. Until there was no fighting that Call anymore; I had to go back and I did. But I didn’t have to like it! I tried with all of my might to find my excuse, to make up my reason; to quit. I did quit a couple of times only to return a few weeks or months later. What I hadn’t noticed was that my life was calm when I was there. When I left I took that "Word" thing with me and I read it. Eventually I caught myself clapping, and smiling and enjoying the Word. I looked around to see if anyone noticed; but they all seemed to be in a place all their own; so I kept clapping, smiling and enjoying the Word and the fellowship. It felt right.



Thirteen years later, it still feels right. People from my church would probably welcome my quiet days of yesteryear; because today I am one of those “loud crazy people”, praising, anointing heads, laying hands in prayer, worshipping and loving God with everyone else. Hallelujah!



What I hope you receive is that I had no clue. I now know when I hear an anointed word because my spirit leaps inside. I know the difference between hearing God’s voice or any other that comes in my ear. I recognize God’s Spirit because it faithfully resides with mine. Something I never thought possible has come to pass. Now I have the responsibility and honor to pay it forward. My entire life, good, bad, and ugly is a testimony to God’s grace, mercy and love.



My church may not be the church for you. God is bigger than a church or a denomination; He can do it anywhere. Many, including myself have said, “I don’t need to go to church to know God.” That is true and yes, God can meet you at home, in jail, the hospital, school, and on the streets, where ever; but there is a power in numbers, unity and commitment when you are fighting for your life and the lives of others. No matter how saved we may think we are; we can still fall. Our church home is and should be our safety net. It is there to support, love, hold accountable, catch, encourage, walk beside, and pick each other up.



This word is for the lost, unbeliever, backslider, and the person sitting in the pew desiring, but unable to hear (discern) what the spirit is saying through the spoken or written Word. It is for all of us at any point in our lives. I know how confused I was and I have empathy for those who yearn for, make light of, or profess to hate the Word/God simply because they can’t hear and understand it.



I could say read 1Corinthians 2 or the whole bible, but we also need God representatives; our Pastors, ministers, saints of God to teach and help us and for us to help them grow in the Word. There is a wealth of information, correction, life instruction, lessons, laws, laughter and love in the Bible to be shared. It is prayerfully all yours to retrieve. God bless you all.



I thank Bishop J.Dixon for his ministry because I am blessed and encouraged. I want to hear and help God’s Word reach the multitudes. I Thank my Pastor, Suffragan Bishop A.J. Cushinberry for her continued love, support, teaching and preaching. When I hear a spiritual word from someone else it is usually a word of confirmation for a word I’ve already received from her.

A World Away.......

My goodness, it has been a whole year; today, tomorrow and its over! I have had a unique year. I won't complain. As the picture represents my boys/young men are growing older by the moment. They have blessed me in their own precious ways throughout the year. I probably owe them an apology or two! I've been walking through this year showing only remnants of myself. They know me better than anyone. I have not had the energy to blog though I have had much to say. Ya know sometimes God just says, "hush" with a sweet quieting Spirit. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all kinda things. Jena has talked about me and once even threatened to take me off her favorites. lol, I love my sister. Prayerfully 2011blog sessions will be pleasing to her as well as God. Blessings to all, this years end & on toward new beginnings, hopes & dreams!

Finally!!!.... FOOTBALL! Go Z

After years and years of being a serious football fan; finally have a little bit with the same fire like passion. Z has always told me he liked football. On occasion he would watch with me then move on to more exciting things in his world; i.e. building forts, video games, digging holes in the dirt. Well this September I was picking up my friend's son from school and saw Z's bestfriend's dad. He was coaching a tackle team and told me to bring Z out. Z had only played flag in the past. I called Z asked if he wanted to play and the rest is history. Tio brought him out to the field and it was on.... In this short amount of time, Coach Antwaun has taught the boys the true meaning of this wonderful sport. He has given them an opportunity that most kids don't get until they are in midddle school. These little guys have heart, love and understanding in, for and of the game. Coach Antwaun did not just tell them what to do, but taught them why. They had play books, they had to learn plays by watching his hands. One slight shift would changed an entire play. They had to study and be alert. They had to follow directions and work as a team. He truly taught them many of life's lessons on the field and off. He stressed the importance of school and education, being on time and prepared.. truly the list goes on. The 3rd & 4th graders had the opportunity to scrimage with our 5th & 6th grade team; our boys gave them arun for their money. Zumere has been blessed from this experience. He genuinely loves to play football and has a desire to learn more. His season is over, but the highlights have been amazing. Mr. Z has made spectacular plays. He is fast off the line on defense and his tackles are just nasty. He made four interceptions; one at the 4th & goal mark stopping a touchdown for the other team. He ran in a two point conversion in the first game after best friend Parker got the touchdown. It was truly a joy seeing these boys together again. He got better and better with each game. He has already started with another team and ready to get dirty. I've been told I can't wash his pants because he like the dirt on them. Wow! We'll have to talk about that one. Special thanks to big bro, Tio for practicing with Z in the front yard learning routes and all the rides to practice when I was still working. You are awesome. Big ups to Uncles Derrick& Dewayne, (cousins)DaMare, Deion & Davin for our family football & basketball games. Those kids really had to put in work & that is a great lesson for all of them. Final note: GO STEELERS!!!!!

~A PARTY FROM GOD~

How can I begin to explain God's grace, gift and love to Z on his 8th birthday, how? I CAN'T!!! I am ever in awe and amazed by my Heavenly Father. I planned a birthday celebration for Z, water balloons, squirt guns, pizza, chicken, spaghetti, salad, fruit, cake and family fun. It wasn't much but it was from my heart and the best I could do. Well, never underestimate God's plan. Tio, Z and I were sitting outside
filling water balloons and fire trucks, a trailer and people are across the street at the church busy. We continue our work as we see God evolve in our very sight. A dunking machine, a giant water slide, cake walks, horse rides and safe talks from the firemen. As they were finishing up one of the members came over and invited us. I told them we were having a birthday party. He said looks like God is giving him another one and he said everyone was welcome. The music was setting the atmosphere of praise and good times throughout the neighborhood. People came out on their porches and enjoyed the children having the time of thier lives. After all the church fun and nearly everyone at the party winning a cake on the cake walk; we came back across the street & threw our water balloons and played with the water toys.
All of which for some reason were aimed at me!!! (where is the love) We ate outside, laughed and really enjoyed ourselves. We came inside to sing Happy Birthday and open presents. It was a birthday we will all remember forever. But God was not done yet. After everyone left, Tio went to play basketball. When he came home, he ran in the house and said "Zumere God has one more present for you, its outside, come on!" We went out and high in the sky between a picture frame of tree was the most beautiful full moon shining down at us. I almost cried. You should have seen Z's face, it was priceless. Then he said "thank You, God! Thank you, Tio thats the best present of all. He is still talking about the gift when God gave him the moon. Nothing and nobody but God. Be blessed!

Master Chef, Z is in da House

Well, Z says this is how it should be done! We had video to share, but it took far too long to process. Thank God I took pictures too. Z is at home in the kitchen, &
loves to cook. And as you see, he's not so bad in the eating area, either. Well, I hope you enjoyed our time. Writing more later... Be Blessed!

TA DA!!!!!! They Were Pleased.

And here they are with their finishing touches. Proud as puddin' and pie! People you couldn't wipe the smiles off their little faces. Sauce, yes, but smiles no! they grubbed. Master Chef Zumere is next, check his flavor if you can keep up, he is Mr. Speedy.

Pizza Makes The World Go Round

Hello friends, today my little bits and I created a world of fun in the kitchen. Oh, how excited they were. One at a time each of them came in and prepared their very own masterpiece. They were so committed to the process, listening closely and following direction. Today our adventure took us to Italy. Pizza Pizza was the name of the game. We have Ms. L with the ingredients, Her sister, Ms. A with her crust. Then, Ms. M sprinkled some cheese, while Ms. H poured it on. Last but not least, Mr. S reaping the benefits of the day. Z was also home today, so you can check him out later. I am only able to share a few pictures, but stay tuned for the finished products. My babies love to cook. M recently cooked kool-aid with her parents. She told us all about it. L & A enjoy cooking salad with their Aunt and Gma. While H,
gets to watch the Jayhawks cook or be cooked, whichever. (smile) GO CATS! I hope you enjoyed this trip to Italy as much as we liked sharing it.