This Is My Testimony To God's Glory

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 1corinthians 2:14

What I could have gained from this piece of information when I was lost, hurting and confused. I knew I wanted out of the hell I was living. I knew there had to be something more for me than what I saw. I knew I couldn’t stay where I was; but I didn’t know what or how. What could “i” do? I had heard God’s name; most if not all of it good, but I was not familiar with Him. I thought; I made the decision to go to church. Now, I know differently; God had me all along. But at the beginning of this journey, “i” was in control. I got my son and self dressed, in the car and off to church we went.



Oh my goodness, are you serious? It was loud, crazy and foreign to me. They were crying, screaming, clapping and jumping; but they appeared to be happy. The music was loud, my son covered his ears and I wanted to. When they prayed for people they put something on their foreheads and touched them. I was frozen, really trying to figure out what the “hell” was going on around me. I thought these people are crazy. It was all I could do not to snatch my son’s hand and RUN! Which is exactly what I did the first inconspicuous moment I got; with the thought of NEVER returning.



I didn’t understand. I made excuses why I didn’t believe. I went to work and laughed about it with other lost souls. It was ALL “foolish” to me. I did not think that dramatic display was necessary to have whatever it was I was looking for.



A Word went forth, I don’t remember it but I do remember feeling like the pastor was looking and speaking directly to me. It was like she’d been where I had been and seen what I had been through. It was uncomfortable and I felt exposed. Exposed is not a good feeling, but it is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.



A lot of times when we’ve been used, misused, betrayed, abused, hurt, broken, left for dead, etc.; all we see is that person we feel did it. Even if we are they betraying abuser ourselves; all we know is at the time, what we did met a purpose for us; right or wrong. We are blinded to the magnitude of our actions or lack thereof. All we see is the dark, empty, ugliness that surrounds us. We hear that whisper beckoning us to die as we welcome the thought. I knew well this place; it was home for many years.



Until one day, I walked into a church with my son. I watched and listened, but heard nothing. I was scared and intimidated and I ran. I refused to go back. You might ask;’ what do I mean by refused, who was trying to make me go back?’ I had to ask that same question. My mind was playing with me. I could not get that place or those people out of my head. Something was calling me back. For months I had a constant struggle. I for sure was going crazy. Why would I ever go back to that craziness? The real question was; how could I remain in the circus of lies I was already in? I wasn’t going without a fight and I sure nuff gave it. Until there was no fighting that Call anymore; I had to go back and I did. But I didn’t have to like it! I tried with all of my might to find my excuse, to make up my reason; to quit. I did quit a couple of times only to return a few weeks or months later. What I hadn’t noticed was that my life was calm when I was there. When I left I took that "Word" thing with me and I read it. Eventually I caught myself clapping, and smiling and enjoying the Word. I looked around to see if anyone noticed; but they all seemed to be in a place all their own; so I kept clapping, smiling and enjoying the Word and the fellowship. It felt right.



Thirteen years later, it still feels right. People from my church would probably welcome my quiet days of yesteryear; because today I am one of those “loud crazy people”, praising, anointing heads, laying hands in prayer, worshipping and loving God with everyone else. Hallelujah!



What I hope you receive is that I had no clue. I now know when I hear an anointed word because my spirit leaps inside. I know the difference between hearing God’s voice or any other that comes in my ear. I recognize God’s Spirit because it faithfully resides with mine. Something I never thought possible has come to pass. Now I have the responsibility and honor to pay it forward. My entire life, good, bad, and ugly is a testimony to God’s grace, mercy and love.



My church may not be the church for you. God is bigger than a church or a denomination; He can do it anywhere. Many, including myself have said, “I don’t need to go to church to know God.” That is true and yes, God can meet you at home, in jail, the hospital, school, and on the streets, where ever; but there is a power in numbers, unity and commitment when you are fighting for your life and the lives of others. No matter how saved we may think we are; we can still fall. Our church home is and should be our safety net. It is there to support, love, hold accountable, catch, encourage, walk beside, and pick each other up.



This word is for the lost, unbeliever, backslider, and the person sitting in the pew desiring, but unable to hear (discern) what the spirit is saying through the spoken or written Word. It is for all of us at any point in our lives. I know how confused I was and I have empathy for those who yearn for, make light of, or profess to hate the Word/God simply because they can’t hear and understand it.



I could say read 1Corinthians 2 or the whole bible, but we also need God representatives; our Pastors, ministers, saints of God to teach and help us and for us to help them grow in the Word. There is a wealth of information, correction, life instruction, lessons, laws, laughter and love in the Bible to be shared. It is prayerfully all yours to retrieve. God bless you all.



I thank Bishop J.Dixon for his ministry because I am blessed and encouraged. I want to hear and help God’s Word reach the multitudes. I Thank my Pastor, Suffragan Bishop A.J. Cushinberry for her continued love, support, teaching and preaching. When I hear a spiritual word from someone else it is usually a word of confirmation for a word I’ve already received from her.

A World Away.......

My goodness, it has been a whole year; today, tomorrow and its over! I have had a unique year. I won't complain. As the picture represents my boys/young men are growing older by the moment. They have blessed me in their own precious ways throughout the year. I probably owe them an apology or two! I've been walking through this year showing only remnants of myself. They know me better than anyone. I have not had the energy to blog though I have had much to say. Ya know sometimes God just says, "hush" with a sweet quieting Spirit. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all kinda things. Jena has talked about me and once even threatened to take me off her favorites. lol, I love my sister. Prayerfully 2011blog sessions will be pleasing to her as well as God. Blessings to all, this years end & on toward new beginnings, hopes & dreams!

Finally!!!.... FOOTBALL! Go Z

After years and years of being a serious football fan; finally have a little bit with the same fire like passion. Z has always told me he liked football. On occasion he would watch with me then move on to more exciting things in his world; i.e. building forts, video games, digging holes in the dirt. Well this September I was picking up my friend's son from school and saw Z's bestfriend's dad. He was coaching a tackle team and told me to bring Z out. Z had only played flag in the past. I called Z asked if he wanted to play and the rest is history. Tio brought him out to the field and it was on.... In this short amount of time, Coach Antwaun has taught the boys the true meaning of this wonderful sport. He has given them an opportunity that most kids don't get until they are in midddle school. These little guys have heart, love and understanding in, for and of the game. Coach Antwaun did not just tell them what to do, but taught them why. They had play books, they had to learn plays by watching his hands. One slight shift would changed an entire play. They had to study and be alert. They had to follow directions and work as a team. He truly taught them many of life's lessons on the field and off. He stressed the importance of school and education, being on time and prepared.. truly the list goes on. The 3rd & 4th graders had the opportunity to scrimage with our 5th & 6th grade team; our boys gave them arun for their money. Zumere has been blessed from this experience. He genuinely loves to play football and has a desire to learn more. His season is over, but the highlights have been amazing. Mr. Z has made spectacular plays. He is fast off the line on defense and his tackles are just nasty. He made four interceptions; one at the 4th & goal mark stopping a touchdown for the other team. He ran in a two point conversion in the first game after best friend Parker got the touchdown. It was truly a joy seeing these boys together again. He got better and better with each game. He has already started with another team and ready to get dirty. I've been told I can't wash his pants because he like the dirt on them. Wow! We'll have to talk about that one. Special thanks to big bro, Tio for practicing with Z in the front yard learning routes and all the rides to practice when I was still working. You are awesome. Big ups to Uncles Derrick& Dewayne, (cousins)DaMare, Deion & Davin for our family football & basketball games. Those kids really had to put in work & that is a great lesson for all of them. Final note: GO STEELERS!!!!!

~A PARTY FROM GOD~

How can I begin to explain God's grace, gift and love to Z on his 8th birthday, how? I CAN'T!!! I am ever in awe and amazed by my Heavenly Father. I planned a birthday celebration for Z, water balloons, squirt guns, pizza, chicken, spaghetti, salad, fruit, cake and family fun. It wasn't much but it was from my heart and the best I could do. Well, never underestimate God's plan. Tio, Z and I were sitting outside
filling water balloons and fire trucks, a trailer and people are across the street at the church busy. We continue our work as we see God evolve in our very sight. A dunking machine, a giant water slide, cake walks, horse rides and safe talks from the firemen. As they were finishing up one of the members came over and invited us. I told them we were having a birthday party. He said looks like God is giving him another one and he said everyone was welcome. The music was setting the atmosphere of praise and good times throughout the neighborhood. People came out on their porches and enjoyed the children having the time of thier lives. After all the church fun and nearly everyone at the party winning a cake on the cake walk; we came back across the street & threw our water balloons and played with the water toys.
All of which for some reason were aimed at me!!! (where is the love) We ate outside, laughed and really enjoyed ourselves. We came inside to sing Happy Birthday and open presents. It was a birthday we will all remember forever. But God was not done yet. After everyone left, Tio went to play basketball. When he came home, he ran in the house and said "Zumere God has one more present for you, its outside, come on!" We went out and high in the sky between a picture frame of tree was the most beautiful full moon shining down at us. I almost cried. You should have seen Z's face, it was priceless. Then he said "thank You, God! Thank you, Tio thats the best present of all. He is still talking about the gift when God gave him the moon. Nothing and nobody but God. Be blessed!

Master Chef, Z is in da House

Well, Z says this is how it should be done! We had video to share, but it took far too long to process. Thank God I took pictures too. Z is at home in the kitchen, &
loves to cook. And as you see, he's not so bad in the eating area, either. Well, I hope you enjoyed our time. Writing more later... Be Blessed!

TA DA!!!!!! They Were Pleased.

And here they are with their finishing touches. Proud as puddin' and pie! People you couldn't wipe the smiles off their little faces. Sauce, yes, but smiles no! they grubbed. Master Chef Zumere is next, check his flavor if you can keep up, he is Mr. Speedy.

Pizza Makes The World Go Round

Hello friends, today my little bits and I created a world of fun in the kitchen. Oh, how excited they were. One at a time each of them came in and prepared their very own masterpiece. They were so committed to the process, listening closely and following direction. Today our adventure took us to Italy. Pizza Pizza was the name of the game. We have Ms. L with the ingredients, Her sister, Ms. A with her crust. Then, Ms. M sprinkled some cheese, while Ms. H poured it on. Last but not least, Mr. S reaping the benefits of the day. Z was also home today, so you can check him out later. I am only able to share a few pictures, but stay tuned for the finished products. My babies love to cook. M recently cooked kool-aid with her parents. She told us all about it. L & A enjoy cooking salad with their Aunt and Gma. While H,
gets to watch the Jayhawks cook or be cooked, whichever. (smile) GO CATS! I hope you enjoyed this trip to Italy as much as we liked sharing it.

LET ME TAKE THE TIME TO EXPRESS....

Let me take the time to expresss...I love you! As years went by, my tears, did dry. A new beginning and you, sweet Z the perfect ending. What an extraordinary book, a story untold. In a mere seven years, taking on the life imposed. Moving swift, with each twist and turn, I was to teach, yet from you I have learned. Love and compassion to each his own, resilience and mercy is what you have shown. Innocent by nature, too young to understand. This life God allowed, is the one at hand. To go through so much, at such a young age, I know our Heavenly Father is setting the stage. Setting the stage for adventures and more, setting the stage lifes an open door. Your beginning so sweet, from love you were made, no words to express the joy you gave. Its hard to write, your story is so far from done. So this little love note is the first of a sum. I'm watchin', thats right, I'm checkin' you out. Smooth intellect is what you're about. I get so excited when your future, I think. I am so proud to know you, I'm tickled pink. As I write, you read, I'm always near, my second born son... his name Zu'mere.

IF I NEVER TOLD YOU...

IF I NEVER TOLD YOU...of the love of which you were made, I'll take this time to tell you of a love that never fades. My dear son if words could only express, the love, the pride, the joy, the knowledge of your success. Yes, the standard I have for you are ones you must reach high. For if I never pushed you, what need would you have to try. On the day of your birth, to know you were my first, nothing could compare to the warmth of your stare. Wow, I could see IT in you before you spoke a word, the power, the strength, the peace that laughter would be heard. You bring a smile to every face that came and that will come. Anyone thats with you is sure to have big fun. A gentle loyalty, blessed to call you friend, Charismatic leader, honor you'll defend. Your humility supersede what is gifted in your style, it makes it clear to all, you are His chosen child. If love could be any deeper than a mother's to her child. That love would go the distance, it'd cover ever mile. Your father, I can't call it, understand it or deny. What I know, love is there, That I'd testify. It is what it is, but never you doubt. Your father love, it goes without. Without a word, without sight. Your father's love your God given right. History is clear, but not defined. What God put inside, transends the mind. So, if I never told, now you have been told. The world is here, your life set free, a price for which you were sold. Do it big, do it strong, do it with God, you can't go wrong. I loved you in the womb, I loved you at first sight. I loved you as you grew, I loved with all my might. I am yours and you are mine, family for life through signs of the times. Unconditional, without question, without reason, without rhyme, its your turn, its your time. Now, Tiovon..... SHINE.

Time Flies.....so Never Stand Still

Man, how long has it been? The last time I updated Tio was 12 and Z was 1. Well maybe not, but it sure feels that way. My goodness Zumere stareted the 2nd grade. He has a great teacher. She has been teaching 31 years and raised her own boys. She's seen it all. I have no doubt my little Z will show her something NEW!! OH, MY GOSH, Tiovon isin COLLEGE. Somebody forgot to tell me some things...who said this was easy? You guys, I left my child over 100 miles away in no mans land...Yep, I really drove AWAY...three times, cuz I kept going back! I'm askin', "Whats wrong with this picture?" I really thought he would be at home commuting to a closer school. Then at the last minute, he is blessed with a Theatre Scholarship a million miles away. Honestly, the longest he has ever been away from me is 1-2 weeks in all his 18 years. (Shut up Derrick, I heard that!) I raised him the best I could and he is a great son. I know he will do fine. Its his time, please keep him in your prayers. I know he will SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE and SHINE BRIGHTER THAN ANY STAR. Stay blessed and for Heaven's sake if you are sending your baby to college... remember to BREATHE!!!!

A Scary, Yet Magical Moment In God

The video will not upload to this page as I desired. Anyway it was a video that shows the Beginning, then the death and destruction of today 911, tsunami, Katrina, etc.., then it goes to a church where the preaching is... We know not the hour of His coming..... as he preaches there is a BANG!!! The preacher and more than half of the church disappears. (IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT UP IN THE RAPTURE) The individuals left behind are wondering aimlessly about and confused, with the exception of one. He immediately drops to his knees, on his face, overwhelmed by the reality of the situation. It is truly a powerful image and straight from the Word of God. One can not help but to feel the jolt, the slap, the TRUTH.




This morning I was watching this profound, brutally honest video, when Zumere walked in. He had heard the BANG and wanted to know what it was. I told him, "God coming back." He excitedly said I want to see. I explained it was serious and one really needed to be ready. He asked, " you mean baptized?" I said, "Yes thats part of it." He really wanted to watch, so I started the video. He was quite intense, eyes glued to the monitor. It got to the destruction that is going on in the world today and he said, Um maybe I'm not ready", but continued to watch. Again, the BANG! his eyes got wide, he looked at me and said, "I don't want to be left behind." I told him, "me neither." So, I started to explain to him how we needed to change our lives, or ways, our methods, etc. I told him how much God loves us and doesn't want to leave us. Its our choice, we decide how we are going to live. It was a pretty deep rap session. I could see him thinking. Finally, he speaks....." Mom, does God come back in maybe a month and get some more? Does He come back again and again? Wow, don't we wish!! I expalined to him that when God comes back its just that ONE time, so we MUST BE READY. Praying your strength, wisdom, understanding and well being.

Shout out to my Jesus, I see You, Lord

June 18,2008, I received a phone call from a lady I worked with nearly 5yrs ago, it was 1:15am. I woke up to, "DeAnna my apt is on fire!" She identified herself and said "God told me to call you!" I felt an immediate conviction to pray, truth be told I started when the phone rang a 1:15am. She frantically talked and I listened & prayed. Her phone was dying, I asked if I needed to come & was told she had friends with her. I assured her I would not stop praying. We hung up & I cried out to God on her behalf. God took me from prayer, God's grace, mercy & protection to PRAISE. I was thanking God, clapping, praising & singing 'Great Is His Mercy.' Though I focused on her safety, God let me know her "stuff" would be ok, too. I ended my prayer & heard...Rain. I immediately began to praise God again. I was awakened so suddenly, I didn't know if it had been raining the entire time. I texted her what God had revealed and God is in control. I was so amazed by the rain, I called her to ask, all I heard was "God sent rain! God sent rain!" I thought I was going to lose my mind. God's presence was felt. I was in awe and praise again. I prayed for the other residence and went to sleep. I woke up that morning & watched the news. My mouth dropped. It was an inferno, I could not see the apt for the fire. You know thats when coward doubt creeped in. I 'm thinking how could anything have survived that? I know what God told me, I had to trust it & started my day. 6:23am she calls, "I just had to tell you, the fire stopped at my apt." Please, understand that her apt is right next door to the apt where the fire originated. I can't even explain what I felt from God, I just cried. It was humbling. She called back at 5:20pm to amaze me even more. She said all of the apts to the left of her were destroyed, the two apts to the right of her had some damage, but her apt- NOTHING short of minimal smoke damage. My God. We prayed for the other people, she was already trying to figure out how to help them. It was just awesome to see God & know its Him. She apologized for calling me b/c we had not talked in so long, but God told her to. WOW! I told her I am honored to be used by God & thanked her. (Obedience) God's infinite Glory prevails. My friends and family...Tomorrow is not promised....Let God use you today. Much love, peace & joy to you all.

INTRODUCING........THE GRADUATES

Look who made it....... Yes, Tiovon and James have officially graduated with Diplomas in hand. Both of these young men finished their high school requirements at semester, December 2007. On May 17th they each walked with their class, Tiovon-HPHS and James- THS. We are so proud of "the fellas." We celebrated with family and friends that evening, it was very special. Very special for Toiane and me, we made it clear from the beginning that its "our party", to celebrate our accomplishments. Its all about us. Shout out here.... to all the "single moms, holdin' it down!! Celebrate yourselves, Sisters. Oh yeah back to"the fellas," James has already start his under grad classes at Allen. Tiovon will start this fall. BIG UPS to both of them as they start this new chapter in their lives. Join us in congratulating them. CONGRATS, WE LOVE YOU BOTH.

I'm A Jewel, Too

Well, its taken me along time to recognize myself as the divine woman God designed me to be.

I will be forty-three this years and I am slowly but surely working my way towards my purposes in this world. My priorities are God, family and now ME! If you only knew, you'd be proud of me, too. One day at a time, who coined that, I need to shake their hand. Its simple words, a powerful statement and a grueling task, but....POSSIBLE. I pray these can be words of encouragement to someone. Lets see, about me: I am a licensed social worker, but current own a child care business in my home. I started when Zu'mere was two, I wanted to stay home with him. When Tiovon was born I was blessed to have a job as a houseparent, so he could come with me. I was going back to work when Z started school, but God had other plans. I really enjoy the kids and being my own boss. I am so thankful for my sister-in-law, Jena. She always find creative things to teach me. First she and my best friend, Kurmia taught me to do scrapebooking (I have a whole scraping room) and now blogging. I am having so much fun. Keep me in your prayers.

Zu'mere - My Other Joy

My little sunshine, that is Zu'mere. Oh boy, the many adjective I could use to describe this one. He is too smart for his own good, six going on twenty-six. He has a thought process that would make any adult proud. Many times he will say something

and I will have to stop, think, calculate, think again then very carefully answer. He is funny and loves to laugh. He has the most unique little hobbies, ok maybe strange is a better definition. He has forever loved rubber bands and has a massive collection of all shapes, sizes and colors. Anything he saw on the ground became his "treasure". I found everything in pockets, bookbag, washing machine, etc.. It was bad. I gave him a choice to pick a couple of

things to collect that wouldn't require tetanus shots. He chose pencils, activity books and stickers. He has quite an impressive collection. He burns through those activity books. He is a very smart little boy. Just like Tiovon, Zu'mere is an awesome brother, most days. He always thinks of his brother. When we are out and he gets something he never fails to ask to get Tio something, too. He also reminds me if I forget to tape his brother's favorite show. He is very thoughtful and loving. Z or ZZ(as we call him) loves to get dirty and play hard. He loves to ride his bike, he learned in one day. (His Uncle J taught him) I will have to share that video later. And this is my Mere Mere. (his best friend Parker gave him that name, just couldn't get the "Z".

Tiovon- A True Treasure

Good Morning, today I would like to share my son, Tiovon. Anyone who knows him will say he

is a genuinely good guy. Tiovon is a unique soul. He has a heart of GOLD and a sense of humor that causes all around him to smile. He has always been a loner, but recently has begun to spread his wings. I must admit this has been as disheartening as much as it is exciting. I know God is going to do extraordinary things in
his life. He is a hard worker to a fault, much like his father, a perfectionist of sorts. Tio (as we call him) is a wonderful big brother and a great help to me. Don't doubt they have their battles, but for the most part good together. Their age difference has been a plus and a minus at time.
Tiovon got bit by the acting bug last year and has been in two school plays. He was brilliant! YES, I am the mom, but he was REALLY awesome. Its one of his many callings. Tiovon has
wanted to be an architect since he was 7 years old. He will be going to college this fall, studying that major. This summer he is working two jobs and hanging out with friends.
His best friend is James, they have been friends since age two. They are total opposites, but balance each other well. They are protective and loyal. We all should have a friendship like this one. James' mother is one of my best buds. We've shared many special memories. We are all family. Below: Tiovon at 3months

We Are Pleased To Meet You

Hello, I would like to take this time to

introduce our family. I am DeAnna, my

two sons are Tiovon(18) and Zu'mere (6).

We learned about blogs from my sister,

Jena. I enjoyed checking theirs and here

we are. I look forward to hearing from

other families and keeping up to date on

ours.